Bettering Our Democracy in Less Than a Minute
I once had a client who changed it all for me. Some years ago, she was winding down her time at a job and making the requisite calls to notify bigwigs and stakeholders.
A few calls were plain yogurt pro forma, she said. But a bunch of calls...she paused, cleared her throat. I had no idea I meant anything to these folks until I told them I was headed out the door.
It’s a bit like those eulogies that are so good, they could nearly bring the person back from the dead. But the question that sits for me in the quiet space after the eulogist is done is Did you tell them any of this when they were above ground?
The client made a simple resolution: don’t wait, tell people.
Tell people when their sweet text restarted a rough Tuesday for you.
Tell people when their birthday gift made you feel seen.
Tell people when they did a brilliant job with a prickly boss.
Tell people when you were inspired by how they forgave their mother, cared for their father, put boundaries up with their brother.
Don’t wait. Tell people.
Fear is so everpresent, it might as well be part of the weather forecast these days. Cloudy, 63°, fear is at 89%.
A scared tortoise retreats into her shell, shutting down the chance for connection and comfort. But also shutting down her chance to help heal what’s so fearful.
While I don’t know that we can be reasoned out of fear, I do know we can be loved out of it.
Tortoises inside their shells can do nothing to change hard times. But we who have been loved out past our fear can think more clearly, act more courageously, contribute more meaningfully. So what if we took a few extra seconds each day to tell people when they have touched us.
Know someone who might like this newsletter? Please do forward it along to them with my great gratitude!
For me, there’s Kevin, the cashier at the grocery store, who’s got the bounce and good cheer of a lobsterman’s bouy.
Jessica at the hardware store who ordered a bunch of lightswitch plates with a sunrise on them when I asked about them, even though I suspect no other customer buys them.
A mentor whose encouraging letter years ago meant so much, I used it as a bookmark for years to remind me of his kindness.
My sign language teacher who’s generous with praise and gentle with correction.
Democracy is a form of governance, but it’s also a culture, a way of being with each other. And love will always be better news for our culture of democracy than fear.
Which is all just a way of saying we need not wait for an occasion to give a little love to someone. Give it now, give it freely. As George Saunders put it, “Time is short and whatever love you have better get spent, pronto."
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